Point of no return

It never ceases to amaze me how much I've changed but what's really weird is when I run into someone I used to go to church with ,and  they've also done a complete 180. There are a few people that I used to work with in the church nursery and other ministries, and we now run into each other at bars and talk about smoking weed and getting drunk. Some of these people don't really surprise me that they've gone the opposite direction but some people, I never would have thought they'd end up where they're at. I'm sure a lot of people think that about me. Not that I care but it's just something that crosses my mind occasionally. I said to my husband the other day that I wonder if these other people who have experienced a similar metamorphosis, have really changed or if they were always like that but kept it inside. He said it doesn't really matter, it is what it is. Whatever the reason, I'm just glad we're at this point and not where we were 5 years ago. Thinking about it, it was about 5 years ago when I first started to question things in the Fundy world and realize that things might not be what I had been brainwashed to believe for a very long time. The tipping point for me was the issue of gay marriage. My sister is gay and I had always been taught that being gay is a sin. 5 years ago ,my sister's partner was diagnosed with breast cancer and I thought how awful it would be if she was lying on her death bed in the hospital and my sister wasn't allowed to be with her because some people thought it was wrong. I started getting really angry every time I heard someone at church railing against homosexuality. Once that started to bother me, everything else started to unravel too and there was no going back. As relieved as I am to be out of that craziness, there's still a part of me that is sad that I can never go back there again for anything. Couple of examples :A  few months ago, a dear elderly man that we used to work with in the homeless ministry, passed away .My husband and I both briefly considered going to the viewing but didn't because we would have to see people that we didn't want to see. Another example is a friend of mine is getting remarried in October to a really great guy after being married to a cheating douche bag. I would love to go to the wedding but I can't bring myself to do it because it's going to be at our former church. Just the thought of being at that place sends my anxiety into overdrive. I sometimes wonder if I will ever be able to be around those people again and be comfortable.