Bent but not broken

It's been about a year since I made the difficult decision to quit my job. I had been struggling with it for a while and unfortunately it took being screwed over by someone I THOUGHT was my friend to finally get me to push the button. It was not the way I wanted to leave, but as I said to one of my former coworkers this afternoon, that was the push I needed to finally quit. When I quit, I didn't realize how stressed out I was until I wasn't anymore. I had become so accustomed to the stress, that it felt normal.  I took 6 months off and didn't work at all. If I hadn't quit, I would never have found the job I have now, which is a job I love!  My coworker and I have a little running joke. Whenever we start to get frustrated, I remind her that she isn't at Target anymore and she reminds me, I'm not at AVH anymore. It helps put things in perspective. Oh and this afternoon, I found out a little interesting post script.  The final straw for me to quit was my former...

It's been a while since I posted.  There have been some changes in my life, nothing too drastic. The biggest one is that I started a new job in January and I really like it! I got a new tattoo that says "Don't stumble over what's behind you." I got it as a daily reminder to keep moving forward and to stop beating myself up for past decisions  and mistakes. It's a battle every day and a conscious effort but I feel like I'm a more positive person these days .I made a New Year's resolution to be more positive about things. This resolve has been tested by my new coworkers ,whom I love dearly but complain all day long about everything. I sometimes wonder if I was that person once upon a time and if I was just as annoying.  I'm guessing I was. I'm still trying to put Fundy world in the rear view mirror and I think I'm doing a pretty good job although I did have a minor setback about a month ago. We got a message from our old church on the home an...

I had to make a difficult decision last week and long story short, it got blown way out of proportion. I was betrayed by someone I thought was my friend and it was a shock. Had this happened a year ago, it would have crippled me emotionally. Does it bother me?  Of course it does just as it would bother anyone with a heart and feelings but I'm not letting it devastate me the way I would have in the past. I haven't shed one tear or lost a minute of sleep over it. I can't express enough how good counseling has been for me!  People who have not experienced depression or anxiety don't understand why these little victories mean so much but to me, it feels like I have climbed a mountain!  It is great to be able to get through a difficult situation without retreating into a dark hole and beating myself up. Yay me!!

I have so much stuff floating around in my head that it's hard to know where to start. I guess I should start with a really quick explanation of who I am and why I am here on this site. I'm a married mom of two teenage boys and a displaced Southern girl still trying to figure out where I fit in, even after living here in the strange land of western Pennsylvania for almost twenty years. I've struggled with depression and anxiety most of my life which is a big reason for this blog. I started counseling last summer and it's helped me a lot but I still feel like I need an outlet for all the chaos in my head. Most of the time I feel like I am barely hanging on,although I'm in a better place than I was a year ago. My life hasn't been easy,  especially in the last few years but I'm hoping that I will be able to get a handle on things someday and not always question and doubt everything.