Judge not

I read a Facebook post from a young lady we knew from our former church (she and her family left the church before we did) that was extremely disturbing. Long story short, when she was at "Christian " college, she was in an unhealthy relationship with a young man that manipulated her into performing sexual acts.  Because of the extremely conservative environment in which she was raised and the equally conservative environment of the college, she was terrified to speak up. She explained it as having a "Scarlet Letter " attached to you whenever you messed up, with regards to the judgement and shame. This is a very lovely young lady, beautiful,smart and talented. To say I was shocked when I read that, is an understatement. I think my mouth was hanging open. She finally found the courage to break free of the relationship after a couple of years and is sharing her story with the hope that she can help others in the same situation. While I'm upset about what happened to her, I'm even more upset that she felt like she would be judged and shamed by the "Christians " around her that she stayed with him. She was right to be afraid. Of all the things that bother me about our former church, I think it's the judgement that bothers me most of all.  No one should feel like they have to hide their problems out of fear of being judged and ripped apart, especially by the people who claim to be followers of Christ. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes and people need to come down off their high horse and practice that grace and forgiveness they love to preach about. When I look back at my time in that environment, I'm ashamed that I was pretty judgemental and critical. I was part of the group that made people like that young lady feel afraid and ashamed for making a mistake. I can't change the past but I can make sure in the future that I am more forgiving and understanding. We're all one or two wrong choices from being in a bad situation.