Bent but not broken

It's hard to explain to people who didn't know me before I left Fundy world, what I used to be like. They only know me as the fun loving mom who has tattoos , cusses like a sailor and drinks like a fish. They wouldn't recognize the conservative, uptight, Bible thumping, long skirt wearing Fundy wife I used to be. I sometimes run into people from my old church and I see the look of confusion and shock on their faces when they notice my tattoos and lack of ankle length denim skirt. I can't help but chuckle to myself. I sometimes wonder if I have truly changed or if the person I am now is who I always was, but I was hidden behind a mask. I think because it feels so natural to be how I am now, that maybe this person was always inside me ,struggling to get out.  I never felt truly happy before and I was always afraid of what other people would think and felt guilty for having "sinful" thoughts. On some level ,I can relate to people who are gay and have "come o...

It's been a while since I posted.  There have been some changes in my life, nothing too drastic. The biggest one is that I started a new job in January and I really like it! I got a new tattoo that says "Don't stumble over what's behind you." I got it as a daily reminder to keep moving forward and to stop beating myself up for past decisions  and mistakes. It's a battle every day and a conscious effort but I feel like I'm a more positive person these days .I made a New Year's resolution to be more positive about things. This resolve has been tested by my new coworkers ,whom I love dearly but complain all day long about everything. I sometimes wonder if I was that person once upon a time and if I was just as annoying.  I'm guessing I was. I'm still trying to put Fundy world in the rear view mirror and I think I'm doing a pretty good job although I did have a minor setback about a month ago. We got a message from our old church on the home an...