Hit the road, Barb!!

There's been some changes since the last time I made a post on here, the biggest thing being that I quit my job exactly a month ago . Up until August, I was pretty happy with the job but my boss did a 180 and decided to change the terms of my employment. I guess the details don't really matter because this is nothing new for me. I have a pattern of getting a job, doing fine for a while and then whenever a problem comes up I don't know how to handle it so things slowly start going downhill.  Before I know it, my anxiety takes over and things progressively get worse and turn into a shit show. I'm done with living this way!  As God as my witness, I WILL break this vicious cycle!!  I'm starting a new job tomorrow. I am terrified of repeating the pattern but I have been working on some things with my counselor and I refuse to go down that road again. It's not going to be easy but I have to learn how to be more assertive and nipping things in the bud before they start building up and keep building up until I explode. I got inspired by a friend who gave a name to her negative inner voice so she could tell her to shut up when the voices tell her she's not good enough. I named my voice Barbara. She's been really loud and relentless today but I am not going to let her lie to me and tell me that I am too anxious and scared to speak up for myself. In addition to starting a new job and working on my negative thoughts, I'm also getting back in shape and losing weight. I've already lost over 13 pounds and I'm determined to lose more. So that bitch Barbara doesn't stand a chance!  Take that Barb! You're not going to win! 

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